"One in four lap-dancers has a degree"

Peter Stringfellow: Let's go back to this: These are young women, in their 20s - not teenagers - who make a choice and decide that this is what they want to do in a safe club such as mine. There are some that are not so good but the majority, quite good places to work.

Anchor: But it does objectify women - there is a question about that. A lot of people think it's degrading. ... Would you want your daughter to do it?

Peter Stringfellow: If my daughter wished to do that, she would. There's a lot of things I wouldn't want my son to do. ...

Anchor 2: But this is about your daughter.

Peter Stringfellow: I'm making the point that, why are we all about daughters?

Dr. Belinda Brooks-Gordon: As a mother, I would want my daughter to do whatever she had chosen to do in good working conditions, in a safe environment doing the job she has chosen to do. ... Instead of taking the immediate assumption that it is degrading or that it is empowering - one or the other - [the study] is just looking at what the women think about why they've chosen it and why they do the job they do.

Peter Stringfellow, a lapdance club owner and Dr. Belinda Brooks-Gordon, a university researcher discuss on BBC the findings of a recent study which showed that one in four women working as lapdancers have a degree and "some 6%" of them are pursuing post-graduate degrees. The conversation quickly turns into whether this profession is degrading to women and what it means to be a woman making these choices for oneself.

Both Peter and Dr. Brooks-Gordon do a good job of articulating how I feel when it comes to "feminism" - that it's never really about whether the topic in question objectifies or empowers women. Instead, we should consider whether or not the woman in question was given the opportunity to make her own, well-thought decision; that in essence, she is thought of as smart enough to make her own decisions.

You can watch the video here: One in four lap-dancers has a degree

0824: No One Said It Was Going to Make Sense

H&M t-shirt dress, vintage vest, MAC Up the Amp lipstick
The month is almost over and I haven't bought any new clothes! I'm so proud of/surprised at myself. Shopping is one of those things that, if you don't do it for awhile, you don't feel the need to do it.

It's finally warm in San Francisco! I was in a much better mood today and I dare say it's because it feels like Summer.

I don't buy magazines often and when I do, it's usually to use them later as coffee table books - except I don't have a coffee table... Flaunt is one of my favorites.

Self-Esteem and Social Insecurity

...increasing anxieties about how we are seen and what others think of us...has in turn produced a kind of defensive attempt to shore up our confidence in the face of those insecurities. The defense involves a kind of self-promoting, insecure egotism which is easily mistaken for high self-esteem.

...

People with insecure high self-esteem tend to be insensitive to others and to show an excessive preoccupation with themselves, with success, and with their image and appearance in the eyes of others.

- Richard Wilkinson and Kate Picket, The Spirit Level: Why Greater Equality Makes Societies Stronger

So I'm reading this book, obviously, about economic inequality in societies and how greater inequality negatively affects mental, physical and emotional health. It's so far very insightful but not as comprehensive as I would like - for example, they only highlight the results of studies rather than giving the actual numbers, which I would like to know.

I've always been a proponent for moving towards more equal societies and will always vote, politically, on the side of equality but I think it's important for people to study and understand thoroughly why they believe what they do. I don't think it's ever enough for someone to say "This is what I believe, just because I do, and I think you should think this way too."

From Community to Mass Society

People's sense of identity used to be embedded in the community to which they belonged, in people's real knowledge of each other, but now it is cast adrift in the anonymity of mass society. ... As a result, who we are, identity itself, is endlessly open to question.

- Richard Wilkinson and Kate Pickett, The Spirit Level: Why Greater Equality Makes Societies Stronger

Inspired by: Celine Spring 2010 Ready to Wear

Photos via Style.com
Fashion moves so fast lately and I hardly pay attention to what designer is doing what this season that when I finally take a look, I feel like I am rediscovering something though I am only seeing it for the first time. I am almost surprised when I stumble onto something I love and wonder how I didn't find it sooner. But everything and everyone is reproducing everything - the same thing - so quickly lately that I find simply ignoring all publications both online and in print the most productive for me. I have to discover these things on my own, otherwise keeping up with what everyone says becomes exhausting.

I finally saw the Celine Spring 2010 Ready to Wear Collection (almost a year old) and am completely enamored with Phoebe Philo's light hand and subtle intricacies in design. Silhouettes are most important. At least, I'm learning this for myself.

Seasons don't matter. Brands don't matter. Fashion Weeks don't matter. I miss when fashion was a tiny community of artists that actually had something substantial to say about what they create.

Hmmm.

0817: My Beauty Essentials (right now)

I have been asked a couple of times what my skincare routine is and what I use in my hair so I thought I would do a quick little post about what I'm using right now.

Things to note before you take all of this seriously: I change beauty products fairly often and have only been loyal to three products: mascara, volumizing spray and at home brazilian bikini wax - YES I SAID IT. But this is what I'm using right now that make me fairly happy.

My Hair:

My hair is naturally very oily and wavy. After a couple of days of not being washed, I get dandruff and the ends are very dry. I wanted to find a routine that gave me volume, moisture where I needed it and would also take care of dandruff.

I LOVE what I'm using right now. My routine is as follows:

1. Two-fingers full of Lush Big Shampoo in my palm mixed with Lush Cynthia Sylvia Stout: Big gives me moisture and cleans my scalp while Cynthia Sylvia Stout is really moisturizing so it counteracts any dryness I get from using Big. Used alone, Cynthia Sylvia Stout makes my hair too oily, but when I mix them it's perfect.
2. Lush R&B Hair Treatment after my shower: I don't use conditioner as it makes my hair way too oily, so when my hair is still wet just out of the shower, I add R&B to everything but my scalp and leave it in. Makes it feel like I used conditioner without weighing my hair down.

I only wash my hair every other day and it NEVER gets oily with this routine. I love it and I will definitely buy these things again.

My Skin:

This is a fairly new routine for me. Before this, I was using Murad and I just didn't like it all that much - it felt too heavy and stopped being effective after awhile. So I wanted something natural (vegan) instead. My skin is naturally sensitive/combination and I get break outs every now and then. If I have a zit, I PhotoShop it out - so don't think this will get rid of acne! I'm just a liar and PhotoShop my face hahaha. I'm still trying to find stuff what works but here is what I'm using right now and what I think so far -

1. Lush Aqua Marina Cleanser - I don't love this one. I was using Lush Coalface before this and I liked it so much more because it took off make-up and actually made my skin feel clean. This one doesn't remove make-up at all and my face just feels okay after using it; nothing special really. I'm going to finish the pot but will be trying something else when I'm done.
2. Lush Tea Tree Water Toner - I use this as a toner, just spritzing it on my face after cleansing at night and using it alone as a cleanser in the morning. Things I like: really fast to use, tightens pore, absorbs oil, smells good.
3. Lush Grease Lightning - I use this all over my face as my "acne treatment." It works pretty well to get rid of tiny break outs after using it for a couple of days, but doesn't do anything to prevent future break outs. The only product I ever used that PREVENTED breakouts was Proactiv. Also birth control helps... but as I'm not using either anymore, I'm still trying to figure out a suitable replacement (hahaha TMI). It's too drying when used as a spot treatment (it makes my skin peel) but when I spread it thinly over my face it works fine; no peeling. Also helps to tighten pores.
4. Lush Enzymion Moisturizer - Finding a good moisturizer is always a tricky game for me because either it will be too moisturizing and make me break out or won't be moisturizing enough. This is a really light moisturizer that is just moisturizing enough. I'll keep using this one.
5. MD Skincare Alpha Beta Daily Face Peel - Exfoliating is an important part of my routine because my pores get clogged and I'm prone to black heads. This has been my favorite exfoliating treatment EVER but I'd like to find a more natural alternative without all the chemicals so I'm going to wait on buying another kit.

Things I learned are important:

Your face routine needs to include cleanse, tone, treat, moisturize, exfoliate.

Cleanse at night, moisturize in the morning, exfoliate once a week.

My Top 3 Products Right Now:

Lush Big Shampoo + Lush Cynthia Sylvia Stout Shampoo
Lush R&B Hair Treatment
Lush Enzymion Moisturizer

So that's it! Hope this helps anyone looking for recommendations for hair or skin!

0814: Did you know your face is burning?

Wearing MAC Girl About Town (pink), MAC Up the Amp (purple); Dolce Vita x Target boots!
A funny thing happened to me the other day. Well, not all that funny but whatever.

I use daily shower cleaner everyday and don't think much about using discretion when spraying it. It gets on my loofa, it gets on my shampoo bottles, everything. I just started using bar soap (Coalface from LUSH) and got some shower cleaner on it. The next morning, I wash my face and for the whole day, my face felt like it was swollen and itchy and I could not for the life of me figure out why until I realized oh duh, there's like bleach on my face.

Ended up getting new soap today that has a little plastic tub so that I don't have to worry about that happening again!

I bought some new shades of lipstick - have been craving purple and hot pink so I got two shades from MAC. Have yet to wear the purple out of the house but I will. It's hard to plan an outfit around it though...

My Dolce Vita for Target boots came in today! You can tell that the quality of the leather (I think it's leather) it's lower than the regular Dolce Vita line. For $35 though, these are a good alternative to the Chloe boots I had been SO wanting since Summer of 2008. They fit well and run true to size. I plan on pairing them with shorts and rompers and skinny jeans and everything pretty much =)

Hope everyone is having a good weekend.

PS. Someone asked in the last post what lipstick I was wearing - It's REVLON Color Me Coral. I have to layer a lot on to get it that shade, but it's a nice light alternative to my usual red, MAC Russian Red.

0812: Getting Cloudy

H&M Headband, Socks & Denim Shirt, French Connection lace dress
I've been asked a couple of times what I use to edit my photos and the answer is Adobe PhotoShop CS2 & Adobe PhotoShop Lightroom 2. Someone also asked what I do for a living - I work at Chictopia.com in Downtown San Francisco (where I also live). My official title is Business Development Associate, but I do a ton of things and pick up projects whenever it's needed. Right now, I'm working very hard trying to plan our event in New York - Chictopia 10. It's fun but stressful! I read on a blog somewhere that there are no bloggers that work 9-5 jobs because you have to be well off to be a successful blogger - but I definitely work 10-7 every day of the week and have been earning my own money since 19! So there goes that notion.

I have more to say about the post that wrote that but I'll save it for later because I'm LAZY.

This week I've been wearing all of my neutral colored clothes and am working the shit out of this denim shirt. I wore this headband the other day and it cut the circulation off in my head... so it ended up as a bracelet for the rest of the day.

Diversion: Legalize it.

...drug cartels don't sell marijuana because they're passionate about cannabis culture or botany, or because they love stacking bricks of mid-grade in the back of a pick-up truck. Absolutely the only reason they're in the marijuana business is because we gave them a monopoly on it. When we take that away from them, they will make less money and their organizations will get smaller.

- Scott Morgan, If You Think Marijuana Legalization Helps Drug Cartels, Think Again

0810: Fair Friends

A quick photo post
The beautiful Yara and I on Market Street. Check out the guy in tie-dye behind us. Haha... Just the usual San Francisco personalities out for a weekend stroll.

0809: Mondays Always Smell like Garbage

Forever 21 denim vest, Thrifted pants, Akira tank top, street vendor bracelets, Chic Swap bracelet
I've been thinking about investing in a better camera, for obvious reasons, but then I thought, well who really cares anyway? I think it challenges me to wear better outfits and let them speak for themselves. There have been plenty of times where I've just worn a dress and sky-high shoes and the background was the only reason the photo looked good. So, I've decided I don't care enough to get a good camera and if I do, I will be investing in something like this baby with a fucking kick ass lens. But it would be down right stupid to pay that much for a camera to take blog photos. So I'll wait.

I actually really miss my Minolta Maxxum 7000, which is a 35mm SLR. It takes THE best photos. I've decided I'm going to take more photos in film. I'm taking it with me to NY for Fashion Week and will take all of my pictures in film while I'm there. There's something nostalgic about it, which is kind of weird to say.

I went on a bracelet shopping rampage over the weekend at some of the street vendors on Market Street. I love street vendors. Love love love them. They have the best stuff. Bought six bracelets, three of them being these simple red braided ones. And no, this does not count as cheating on my shopping ban....

0808: Rainy, Cloudy, Lazy Sundays

I miss taking pictures. I just want to walk around, snapping photos of this crazy city.

0807: Studs & Flowers & Wonderful Meetings

H&M Denim Shirt, Urban Outfitters Floral Shorts, Thrifted studded belt, Kate Spade shoes

What I wore to lunch with the super sweet Yara
I've forced myself to go on a shopping diet - not because I think I have a big problem with impulse shopping but just because I think it might be a good exercise in saving money. I paid off a credit card the other day and I'm so proud of myself! I just have a little bit of my school loan to pay off and one credit card and I will be debt free! I am never going to get another credit card ever again! Just debit cards for me. I just don't like the idea of paying bills. I hate that the money I make basically is just digging me out of a hole - even if the hole isn't that big, I just want my money to be my money. I'm on the road to financial responsibility! Woohoo!

This is what I wore to a wonderful lunch with Yara from This Chick's Got Style. She is so super sweet. Every Dutch girl I've met always wins my heart right away. I don't know what it is! I must make a trip to Europe soon - don't know when, but someday.

She gave me an issue of Grazia Magazine to which she so sweetly asked me to contribute a couple of little blurbs. I can't even understand what it says but it was great working with her. And getting lunch was such a pleasure. Those Dutch girls are so sweet!

0803: Things Lately

Photos taken from The Girl from HK, LDN, SF

Thank you everyone for your kind words on my last post. I know this is all just a part of being in your 20s and I'm just trying to take life with a grain of salt.

A few ups and downs to note so far:

- My computer died, but is now better.
- No hot water when I wanted to take a shower.
- No cold water when I wanted to brush my teeth.
- $2800 was mysteriously debited from my bank account, but has now been restored.
- Definitely broke down crying at the bank like a doofus because a mysteriously missing $2800 was the catalyst for a nervous breakdown after the past couple of days.
- It's still cold and it makes me miserable.
- Feeling overwhelmed.
- Can't catch a taxi in this damn city to save my life.

I know there are people in the world with real problems and I should really just quit my bitching. But all this stuff is really just kicking me when I'm down. I promise I'll be better later and go back to talking about shoes and stuff.

On Rape and Race.

Because in spite of the US’s general societal acceptance that Israel is the “only democratic nation” in the middle east, Israel is an apartheid nation/state that bases it’s entire existence on the privileging of Jewishness over all others. I doubt many people would challenge me on that. But the US consciousness seems to think that the privileging of a certain class of people in this specific situation is not just justified and necessary–but carries few to any negative repercussions for those who are not of the privileged class. That is, the collective US consciousness seems to think that there are simply no problems for Arab peoples (who are a lesser people according to Israel legal standards) living in Israel and those living in the territories get what the deserve. Because they’re terrorists.

Masking a woman’s reality with uninformed Feminist principles can actually help to silence her and even hurt her. It will NOT provide the protection she needs to stand by her conscience. It will NOT provide her [with] the tools and the grassroots base of power that she will need to make real changes that challenge apartheid systems. It will not keep her safe or keep other women safe.

- "No." Flipping Flopping Joy

I could have quoted this entire article, but I'll let you read it for yourself if you are interested. For those that don't keep up with the news, it is a commentary on the recent case against an Arab (Palestinian) man in which he is being charged with "rape-by-deception," that is, consensual sex with an Israeli woman who did not know he was Arab. The article is really interesting if you keep up with the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, and have any opinion about feminism, race relations, religion, etc.

0731: The Only Solution is Evolve

I'm going to apologize in advance for what I'm about to write, just because I know it's going to turn out like some disorganized mush of half-finished thoughts.

This past week has been the hardest for me since I moved to the West Coast. I never thought I would live on this side of the country and never dreamed of doing it, which makes adjusting to everything all the more difficult. My homesickness never subsides and I've yet to feel like this is my new "home." I don't think it will ever feel that way. San Francisco as a whole is just too cold and too dirty for me, and an all around culture shock - tons of naked people, homeless and the stench of marijuana on a daily basis. I never thought I'd miss the suburbs, minivans, big backyards and tree lined streets; yet here I am.

I don't expect to know what I want to do with my life at 22 but I've never felt so aimless. I've used the word disenchanted over and over again to try describing the way I feel about life but I don't even know if that really explains it completely. I just feel like every goal I had ever set out for myself when I went to college has been checked off my list and now I'm here staring at a blank slate, not knowing how to fill it up again.

I feel stifled. Maybe that's my new word to use in conjunction with disenchanted. I feel like I'm thinking too much and not doing enough. I feel like my projects aren't mine anymore and that frustrates me. I feel like I often lose sight of why I started to do things in the first place and it frustrates me. It makes me want to abandon everything I'm doing and start fresh - which I've done too many times to count that it's starting to make me feel like I never follow through with anything. And that frustrates me.

This post isn't really going anywhere, I'm just complaining. All I know is I miss home and I miss feeling grounded and I miss feeling like I can just be who I am and be open and all that lame emotional stuff.

I hope this week will be better, but I guess we'll have to see.